Masturbation is one of the most natural parts of human sexuality, and one of the least talked about. Most people do it. Very few get useful guidance on how to do it well, how to make it better, or how to explore what they actually enjoy.
This guide covers the basics and the less obvious:
- what masturbation is
- why it is good for you
- how to do it comfortably and safely
- and how to get more pleasure from solo sessions, whether you have a vulva or a penis.
This article is intended for adults 18+ and is for general sexual wellness education only. It is not medical advice.
What Is Masturbation (And Why It Is Completely Normal)
Masturbation is self-pleasure: the act of touching your own body for sexual stimulation and enjoyment. It is safe, natural, and one of the healthiest forms of sexual expression available to you. Solo sex requires no partner, no negotiation, and no performance. It is entirely on your own terms.
Despite being nearly universal, masturbation is still wrapped in unnecessary shame for many people. The reality is that sexual empowerment begins with understanding your own body, and self-pleasure is one of the most direct paths to that understanding.
The Health Benefits of Masturbation
Masturbation may support wellbeing for many people. Commonly reported benefits include:
- Stress relief. Orgasm triggers the release of endorphins and oxytocin, your body's natural feel-good chemicals. A solo session is one of the most effective stress relief tools available, and it costs nothing.
- Better sleep. The hormonal release that follows orgasm has a natural sedative effect. Many people find that masturbating before bed helps them fall asleep faster and sleep more deeply.
- Body awareness. Regular self-exploration teaches you what you like, what areas of your body are most sensitive, and how arousal builds for you specifically. That knowledge translates directly into better partnered sex.
- Mood improvement. The same endorphin rush that reduces stress also elevates mood and can reduce symptoms of mild anxiety and depression.
- Sexual health maintenance. For people with penises, some research has explored a possible association between ejaculation frequency and prostate health, but masturbation should not be treated as a medical prevention strategy. For people with vulvas, masturbation can increase vaginal lubrication, pelvic floor tone, and sexual desire over time.
Visit our sexual wellness hub for more resources on the connection between sexual health and overall wellbeing.
Explore Sexual Wellness Education
How to Masturbate with a Vulva
Vulvas vary. There is no single technique that works for everyone. What produces intense clitoral stimulation for one person may feel numb or overpowering for another. The goal of this section is to give you a range of approaches so you can find what works for your body.
Set the Scene
Arousal for many vulva-owners is responsive rather than spontaneous, meaning it builds in response to stimulation rather than arriving on its own.
Setting the right conditions matters.
- Find a time and place where you will not be interrupted.
- Reduce distractions.
- Some people find that lingerie, candlelight, music, fantasy, or erotica helps activate desire before touching begins.
Take a few slow, deliberate breaths to bring your attention into your body. There is no rush.
Start with External Stimulation
The clitoris is the primary source of orgasm for most people with vulvas, not internal penetration.
- Begin by touching the external clitoral area through light circular strokes, tapping, or gentle rubbing.
- Use your fingers and pay attention to what pressure and rhythm feels best.
- Apply water-based lubricant generously: lube reduces friction, increases sensitivity, and makes everything more comfortable. Do not skip the lube.
- Explore the full vulva, not just the clitoral glans. The inner and outer labia, the perineum, and the area around the vaginal opening are all erogenous zones worth including.
Try Internal Stimulation
If you want to explore internal stimulation, insert one or two fingers into the vagina and explore the front wall (the area toward your stomach) where the G-spot is located. It often feels slightly ridged or spongy compared to the surrounding tissue.
G-spot stimulation typically requires sustained, firm pressure rather than in-and-out motion. You can combine internal and external stimulation simultaneously for a more intense sensation.
Not everyone enjoys or orgasms from internal stimulation, and that is entirely normal. The majority of vulva-owners orgasm from clitoral stimulation alone.
Add a Sex Toy
Sex toys exist specifically to do what hands sometimes cannot: deliver consistent, calibrated stimulation exactly where you want it. A good clitoral vibrator can provide more precise pressure and vibration than fingers alone and is particularly useful for people who find orgasm difficult to reach through manual stimulation.
Womanizer-style pressure wave toys, classic wand vibrators, and bullet vibrators are all popular choices for external clitoral stimulation. Rabbit vibrators combine internal and external stimulation. Browse our full range of vibrators and clitoral stimulators to find the right fit.
How to Masturbate with a Penis
Male masturbation is often treated as self-explanatory, but most people who masturbate with a penis use the same technique every time and never discover what else feels good. For those learning how to explore beyond the basics, this section covers foundational techniques and worthwhile variations.
The Basics
The most common technique involves wrapping your hand around the shaft of the penis and moving up and down as your erection builds. Vary the speed, pressure, and grip. Pay attention to the glans (the head of the penis), which is typically the most sensitive area.
Use lube: water-based lubricant makes a significant difference to sensation and comfort.
Change Things Up
Most people masturbate in one position, with one hand, using one technique. Changing any of these variables tends to produce noticeably different sensations.
- Try standing, kneeling, or lying on your stomach.
- Use your non-dominant hand.
- Slow down significantly and focus on the build of arousal rather than reaching orgasm quickly.
The perineum (the area between the scrotum and anus) and the area behind the scrotum are erogenous zones that many people find pleasurable. If you are open to prostate stimulation, a prostate massager can produce a completely different type of orgasm from external-only stimulation. Prostate orgasms are reported by many people as deeper and more full-body than a penile orgasm alone.
Add a Sex Toy
A masturbator or penis stroker replicates the sensation of penetration with textured internal masturbation sleeve designs. Automatic masturbators add suction, vibration, or thrusting without requiring manual movement. These are among the most popular sex toys for people with penises.
Tips for Better Solo Masturbation Sessions
These tips apply to all bodies and all approaches:
- Always use lube. Water-based lubricant is compatible with all body parts, all sex toys, and all condom types. It reduces friction, increases sensation, and makes everything more comfortable. Browse our water-based lubricants and toy care range.
- Take your time. Most people rush masturbation. Slowing down, especially in the build-up phase, tends to produce significantly more intense orgasms. Try extending the session by pausing near the point of orgasm and letting arousal subside before resuming.
- Explore anal play. Many people with all anatomies find that anal stimulation during masturbation intensifies orgasm. Start small with a well-lubricated finger or a beginner anal toy. See our anal toys range for body-safe options with flared bases.
- Use your imagination. Fantasy is a natural and healthy part of arousal. There is no obligation to watch pornography. Many people find audio erotica, written erotica, or pure imagination more effective for building desire and mindfulness around pleasure.
- Focus on sensation, not performance. Masturbation does not need to end in orgasm to be valuable. Breathing slowly and staying present while you explore what feels good is a shame-free, judgment-free way to build a deeper relationship with your body.
- Keep toys clean. Use a toy cleaner and warm water on sex toys after every session. Some non-motorized silicone toys can be boiled if the manufacturer allows it, but always follow the cleaning instructions for the specific product. Motorized toys should not be boiled or placed in a dishwasher.
Solo pleasure is a skill. Like any skill, it gets better with practice, curiosity, and a willingness to try something different.
How to Improve Sexual Confidence in 2026
Common Masturbation Questions
Is masturbation healthy?
For most people, masturbation is a normal and healthy part of sexuality when it feels comfortable and does not interfere with daily life. It has documented physical and mental health benefits and carries no health risks when practised with clean hands and clean toys.
The only context in which masturbation becomes a concern is if it becomes compulsive or interferes with daily functioning, which is distinct from simply masturbating frequently.
How often should I masturbate?
There is no medically correct frequency. Some people masturbate daily; others monthly or less. The right frequency is whatever feels satisfying to you, does not interfere with your relationships or daily life, and does not cause physical discomfort.
A judgment-free approach to solo play means allowing your own desire, not comparison or external expectations, to guide the frequency.
Can masturbation affect sex with a partner?
Positively, in most cases. Regular self-exploration improves body awareness, which makes it easier to communicate what feels good to a partner. Understanding your own arousal patterns helps you guide a partner effectively and reduces the anxiety that often comes from not knowing your own body.
Masturbation does not reduce desire for partnered sex and does not cause erectile dysfunction or delayed orgasm in the way many people fear.
What if I cannot orgasm?
Difficulty reaching orgasm, especially for vulva-owners, is extremely common and is rarely a sign that something is wrong. Female masturbation involves a lot of variation between individuals, and what works for one person may not work for another.
The most frequent reasons for difficulty are:
- insufficient clitoral stimulation
- lack of lube
- rushing
- anxiety
- or simply not yet knowing what your body responds to best.
A quality clitoral vibrator often helps where manual touch and stimulation have not, because it delivers more consistent and targeted sensation. Give yourself time, remove the pressure to perform, and focus on what feels good rather than on the destination.
Ready to explore? Browse our full range of body-safe sex toys, lubricants, and sexual wellness products, with same-day delivery in Edmonton and discreet shipping across Canada.
